Dear Avee,

I hope you are enjoying your time in heaven.  I hope you are proud of us and smiling at everything we have accomplished. We didn’t know the last time we saw each other would be the final goodbye. I am grateful for the joy you brought to my life and I want to thank you for the happy memories.

It took me a long time to accept that your death didn’t mean I had to stop living, But I still think about you every day. Even though we would have been an ocean apart, I know we would have stayed in touch like we do with your sister. I miss you, and I’m heartbroken that you’re not here. I’m sad that I don’t get visit you when I visit England.  I still remember you as a playful kid, running around the kitchen with a bottle in your mouth, ignoring your mom. I can still hear her calling your name like it was yesterday. You were so free-spirited. A cheeky little boy.  I wonder what you would have grown up to be. What kind of music would you have enjoyed, what kind of food would you have loved. Would you have followed your dad’s footsteps in the shoe business? Would you have learned to fly like your sister? The possibilities would have been limitless.

I still remember the day we learned that you were gone. It was only a few months after we moved to Canada. I went to school and cried all day. I was too young to understand how someone could hurt a child, but that day I realized that the world is not a safe place. I realized that not everyone is good, and that I had to be careful. Maybe that’s why I always expect the worst from people, to protect myself.

But to move on, I need to stop dwelling on the day you died and how you died. I need to focus on the happy times and thank you for being part of my story. The time was brief, but I need to appreciate the quality of our time together, not the quantity. I need to let go of the pain. I need to let go of the sorrow. I need to open my heart again and be vulnerable. Its tiring being so guarded, I need to start connecting with others.

I love you, and you will always be in my heart, brother. Give my love to your mom!

I pray that you are at peace.

Love you Always,

Sandy