Mirrorball

For as long as I can remember, I have been using the term disco ball to refer to a Mirrorball. I only found out today that I have been mistaken all this time. Maybe that explains why I never got the results I wanted when I searched for items like a chandelier with ‘disco balls’.

Anyone who knows me knows how much I love them. They have always fascinated me, but I never knew why. They are shiny, but that’s not all. Taylor Swift did an amazing job articulating feelings that I couldn’t express in the documentary for ‘Folklore’. Unfortunately, I can’t paraphrase what she said without changing the meaning, so i’ve provided a link below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eDA-xfYN28k

Sometimes, I feel worn out. Tired of constantly putting on a show and meeting the expectations of the different roles in my life. I want to learn how to relax. I want to discover who I am and what matters to me. I am taking steps to do what makes me happy and replenishes my energy.

Yesterday, I went to Second City for girls night. Some of the girls drank too much and missed out on the show. I was sober and enjoying the comedy. So, when the girls decided to leave and go to a lounge, I told them to have fun, but I chose to stay behind and watch the rest of the show. After spending all day caring for little children, I didn’t want to spend my night caring for adults. This was momma’s night out and for the first time, I decided to put my needs first. Usually, I’m the girl in the group who is always checking on everyone. Making sure everyone is okay. But last night, I just thought. Enough. It’s my turn to take care of me. What do I want? And in that moment, I stopped ‘performing’. It doesn’t make me a bad friend to not take care of others. But it does make me a bad person if I don’t take care of myself first.

— xoxo Sandy