The best part of having children is that they teach us so much. Kids have this wonderful ability to set boundaries for how people interact with them, and as adults, I think it’s important for us to support this skill set. Not change them to become people who always agree or please others.
The other day, like any other day, I was picking up my son from school and inquiring about his day. He had taken supplies to school that day for an in-class project, and I wanted to learn more about it. I had given him extra supplies to share with his classmates, and I saw that he returned a lot of them. He told me that another student in his class had asked to use some of his supplies, and he refused. I was a bit disappointed with my son after hearing this. But he added ‘why should I share with someone who was mean to me today? I’m not sharing’. I told him that he had more than enough and he could have shared. And my son just replied with a simple ‘no’.
I observed him in that moment and thought, you’re right! If someone is unkind to you, why do you have to show them compassion? They were unkind to you, why should you have to ignore their behaviour to assist them and give them what they ask for? I took that lesson and I tried to apply it to help me with the issue I talked about earlier in my blog about the difficult colleague. ‘Why am I making an effort to support and help someone who is determined to ruin their own life?’ I have tried to help, but if they can’t treat me with respect, why should I sympathize with them? They are grown adults, and their actions have negatively impacted me. Why do I then feel obligated to help them? They can learn to help themselves.
I am truly grateful for the lesson my son taught me in that moment because it helped change something inside me. A light blub turned on in my mind, and I could feel a shift. It helped me see the worth in myself and set a boundary for what I consider acceptable behaviours when people interact with me.
— xoxo Sandy
The Inner Workings of My Thoughts 